No mood to blog, although I got plenty of stuff to rant about, because tomorrow is the start of school again and I have to wake up at like what? NINE am??! Thats like in the MORNING! Its UNEARTHLY! Its INHUMANE! Its the WEE hours of the nice 24 hours we have! Who in the right frame of mind would wake up in time to see morning glories bloom? Its mad. 4 am is the correct time to sleep, and 2 pm is the correct time to wake up.
Then u slack around in bed till 3pm, then you rub off all the whatever stuff is on your eyes, then you turn on the computer with your toes.
You check your mail, insult some bengs on IRC, then go bathe (and brush your teeth if you feel like it) and hurray! Its evening time so you can go out without that sun blazing on you. With a sudden flutter you realised you missed lunch! Less calories! Yaaay! Dinner with friends, then MAHJONG till morning!
Thats life man.... But its ending soon.
I am so sad, I shall pluck my leg hair.
I miss Shuyin (I just saw her yesterday, but never mind that.) though. And I miss June (I've been seeing her too). And Clara. Idris. Veggie. And everyone else. And Foodcourt 6's chicken rice.
Last six months of school. And then what do I do with my life?
I think I shall buy and sell Mighty Beanz on eBay.
You go like, "What the?!"
Ok, I have always been a anti-gambling kinda person. Lottery is stupid. If lottery lets everyone earn money, then who is paying the organisers? City Harvest? Nah, don't think so. You pay a little to buy a chance, but in the long run, you lose, cause you spend so much money on buying chances, that even when you win, you can't cover your expenditures.
My point is that I am about to contridict myself.
I am addicted with Mighty Beanz.
For the umpteen times I worked at 7/11 selling Cult, I see silly kids running about begging their mums to buy a bean for them.
What the hell, I thought. I took a look. That thing costs $3.90 per packet, with only 2 beanz in each!!
Welcome to the cheating world of sales, people.
For those of you who are lucky enough not to know what is a Mighty Beanz, it is a toy manufactured by some company in Australia.
I thought they should have a Herpes Bean (1 in 6 Aussies got Herpes) but thats not the point.
So this bean thing, is a bean-like object and you cannot eat nor grow. Its a plastic toy with prints on it, and it can roll around.
Yes. Thats all. There are also many designs to choose from, and there are points allocated for each bean so that some are more powerful (and rarer, may I add) than the rest.
The beans are sold in packets of 2s and 4s, and it is sealed with an opaque cover so you would never know what bean you will be getting. I took a look at all the beans, and decided I want the
BABY SEAL BEAN.
I don't know how syrup sudden replaced my brain juices, but I bought a packet, opened it up, and I realised I got a sucky Study Bean and another sucky Koala Bean.
Suddenly, having the Baby Seal Bean is the greatest wish in my life. I have absolutely no use for it, but I just desperately need it. I want a freaking Baby Seal BEAN!!! SOMEBODY SAVE ME!! (hint: I would pay for it.)
So guess what? I bought another two packets.
Now I have spent $11.70 on 6 useless beans which are all ugly (Miss Battleax bean(TWO OF THEM! *TOOT!*), Frankenstein bean and werewolf bean. KNN)
Can somebody slap me please. Can someone whack me with a pink bunny slipper and stuff the two Battleax beans into my nostrils. I need to wake up. I need to stop acting like Santa Claus and giving away my hard-earned money to Mighty Moose (the company) as if dozen of kids aren't already doing that.
But I am so addicted! I got the perfect solution. I shall... I shall buy another Mighty Beanz packet, and wrap it up nicely, and give it to June for a belated Christmas present. I shall force her to open it in front of me, and then no doubt she will get sucky beans and I will not have to keep it and feel pissed whenever I see the sucky beans.
If its nice beans June can sell it on eBay and she will be happy. If she gets a Baby Seal Bean... Nah. She wouldn't. Wahahahaha! Tell you guys tomorrow when she opens it.
Oh shit did I say I will not blog tonight?
Don't believe my bullshit in future.
I got some other miscellaneous stuff to talk about.
1) BLOGDERS
Blog readers = Blogders. So from now on, all of you shall be called my Blogders! Even if you are a Blogger yourself, you can still be a Blogder.
2) Woman: (Cutting some veggies)
Ju-on: (Hiding under table. Touches woman's calf)
Woman: ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! *scream scream* ARGGGGHH!!! (Runs away)
Ju-on: "I wonder why everyone is so scared of me ever since I fell face down into that big plate of powder."
3) Seemingly after the Asia Blog Awards, I have earned some international readers. Its awful to go into a site and go like "WTF is KNN?"
In fact, I got a Blogder who emailed me telling me that he was reading up my archives when he realised he doesn't know whats a hp strap. He googled for "hp strap" and it returned my page to him. So he clicked on my page, and then realises that it doesn't explain whats a hp strap, and he googles for it and find my page again.
He killed himself in frustration.
I don't like tragedies happening, so I shall do up a Singlish dictionary for all Blogders. Singlish is Singaporean slang for English.
Patience, people. Soon you shall know what is KNN.
4) If you think your day sucks, think again. At least YOU didn't get a repeat Bean.
5) Somebody emailed me asking me if I could sell my underwear to him. He apparently didn't read the entry where I mentioned something about selling massive (used) underwear in yahoo auctions.
The problem with doing that is that I can only wear one underwear a day, any more and my mum will think I am mad.
To solve the problem, I shall make my dog wear my underwear.
It will be well-worn by the time I sell it.
Wankers, are you sure you really wanna put your face in there?
Anyway, in case anyone really wants to buy my underwear (don't worry my dog is given away to my mum's friend coz my maid is gone and no one is taking care of him), it is $500 per piece. I will even sign my name on it if you like.
6) I wanna start a business by selling self-portraits, oil on canvas. I will paint one soon to show you guys. The self portraits will be random pictures that I have posted on my website before. Each picture will be only painted ONCE and it will be exclusive and limited to only 1 in the whole wide world.
Paintings will be coded with serial numbers and will come with a receipt to prove authencity.
Starting bids at $100 per piece.
If this site really gets more famous in future, you will get comments like,
"Wow dude, you have got a Xiaxue at home! (Say "Xiaxue" in the same breath as "Rolex") How much did you buy it for?"
"$100 only!"
"What! You are one of those lucky firstcomers! What year is it painted in?!"
"2004 jan"
"OMG she was only 19! Now she's like 25 already! Why don't you sell this? With Xiao Feng in the picture too! Damn cool. Xiao Feng is like so pretty!"
"If I sell this, what will cover the hole in the wall?"
"Quite correct."
Tell me if you would buy it if my artwork is good.
No comments:
Post a Comment