Anyway, I wanna complain about stupid people.
I came out with one conclusion after working for a few weekends at Singtel shops.
Stupid people use Nokia phones.
I am not saying that Nokia users are stupid. I am saying stupid people use Nokia. So a square is a rectangle but a rectangle is not a square.
Let me tell you what bullshit I got from Nokia users...
Me: "Hi, would you like to take a look at the new Mitsubishi M330?"
Typical Nokia User: "No, I don't like Mitsubishi."
Me, "Erm, you have never tried Mitsubishi phones, how do you know that you dun like them?"
TNU: "Oh, haha. I am a Nokia user"
Why I am not surprised?
Me: "So?"
TNU: "I am used to Nokia la..."
Yeah, stupid. You and the rest of the world. You were used to pagers, why are you using handphones? You are used to typewriters, why use the com now? You were used to having Ong Teng Cheong as president, why not choke Nathan to death?
What bullshit. I say, EMBRACE CHANGE, or you'll never learn anything.
****
Me: "Hi, would you like to take a look at the new Mitsubishi M330?"
TNU: "Ok. I am using a 6610 now, what is the difference?"
Me: "Oh, this phone has 32 chord polyphonic ringtones while Nokia only has 4 chords. It is a very big difference in the quality of the sound, I can let you hear it..."
TNU, after listening and comparing with his 6610 (which the rest of the world is using as well): "I think Nokia ringtones are still the best."
Go back to using monophonic ringtones, you deaf bastard.
Me: "How can that be?"
TNU, playing his miserable 4 chords polyphonic ringtone again for me to hear why I squirm in pain at the horrible sound: "Yes what, isn't it?"
Me: "Indeed."
TNU: *Continues staring dreamily at his phone with unspeakable love*
Me: *pukes*
There is another kind.
TNU: "Miss, can you show me the 7250?"
Me: "There is no sample for it."
TNU: "Oh."
Me: "You wanna buy a camera phone?"
TNU: "Yeah. Your 7250 got black colour?"
Me: "The other colour phones like T610, V200, E365 all got 65,000 colours and are around the same price as 7250. 7250 only got 4,096 colours, the resolution is very bad leh, take the pictures also not clear. The Sony Ericsson on even got bluetooth. Why don't you try them?"
TNU: "Nah, I am a Nokia user."
Thats not a bloody excuse for making a stupid purchase, you cock.
Me, rolls eyes: "Its your choice."
TNU: "What the price for the 7250?"
Me: "Sorry, dunno, I am the Mitsubishi promoter." *Turns and continue giving leaflets to other TNUs walking around the Singtel store, who are feigning interest in the other brands coz they want to compare it to their beloved Nokia and feel damn smug*
I cannot stand stupid people.
***
There was another scenerio that happened at the Singtel shop.
First, a little introduction to the people working there.
Sharon - Panasonic promoter who I got along very well with indeed. Excellent crapper.
UOB promoter A, and UOB promoter B.
A and B's colleague who came into the shop to visit them but is not working at Singtel, called C.
***
Sharon and I were gossiping about Jeremy's butt or something when C walked into our Singtel shop. C had came to look for A and B, who are his friends. A and B asked me and Sharon to go over, to introduce us to C.
C, to me: "Hi, my name is C!"
Me: "Hi, I'm Wendy."
C, to Sharon: "Hi! C."
Sharon: "Hi, Sharon."
C stopped talking to us and turned to talk to A and B, while me and Sharon still stood there.
I decided to be bo liao to Sharon, so I turned to her and said,
"Hi, my name is Sharon, whats yours?"
Sharon was surpressing a giggle, but acted blur and said, "Oh issit! My name is Sharon too!"
I was just whooping with laughter with Sharon, when C turned over to face us again, obviously having eavesdropped.
He said to me:
"Oh, your name is Sharon also? Her name is also Sharon!"
Me and Sharon gave each other very amused looks.
As if he was not being dense enough, he continued, "So whats your surname?"
I answered,
"Au. Sharon Au"
"Oh...", he said. He turned to the real Sharon and asked her for her surname as well.
"Teo", she replied, covering her mouth as mirth threatened to spill out. She should have said "Stone" to see if the guy can get any denser.
"Oh, sharon au and sharon teo..." C mumbled to himself.
Till today, he still thinks that I am called Sharon Au, when I just told him 1 min ago that my name is Wendy.
I met another stupid person when I was out with Eileen. Her friend, some guy, saw her and came to join me and her at a coffee shop table.
Meanwhile, I was very engrossed in conversation with her and could not really be bothered with him. I was telling her about my recent visit to a mosque recently, for a school project.
The fella we interviewed bullshitted his way through... He obviously did not know his stuff at all. I forgot to mention he is another stupid person.
I asked him: "If we don't believe in Allah we go to hell?"
Him: "Yes."
Me: "Is there such a thing as free will?"
Him: "What is that?"
Me: "That whatever I do, is my own choice. For example I choose to slap the table now, it is my own decision, not Allah making me slap the table. Or is there no free will, so that whatever happens is a result of Allah's planning?"
Him: "There is no such thing as free will." There is.
Me: "So you are saying if I choose not to believe in Allah, thats Allah's choice for making me not believe him, since there is no free will?"
Him, thinking hard: "Yes, I guess so. Allah has already chosen who are his people."
Me: "And Allah wants to put me into hell for me not believing in him when obviously he MADE me not believe in him?!"
Him: "Erm, we cannot question Allah's decisions."
It was total bullshit. Everytime I ask him a question which there is no way for him to answer, he would say that last sentence and claim that Allah is beyond our conprehension.
Anyway, back to Eileen's friend.
He somewhat overheard a little about the conversation, and was looking interestedly at us.
"Are you a Christian?", I asked him.
"Yeah yeah, why?"
"Coz I got some questions to ask you..."
"Shoot away!"
"God is onmipotent right?"
"Whats that?"
"I thought you said you are a pious Christian. Onmipotence means he is all-powerful. Able to accomplish everything."
"Oh, then God is onmipotent."
"So can God create a stone which is too heavy for himself to lift?"
He replied without thinking, "Yes of course."
"If it is a 'yes', it means that the stone is too heavy for God to lift, and if he cannot lift a stone it means he is not onmipotent."
"Hmm. Yeah. Actually, I cannot answer you that question because I am not God."
HOW TOTALLY IRRELEVANT. Nice try dude. How about saying "I can't answer you that question, I am too dumb." instead, because I already know that you are not God? How about telling your physics teacher "I cannot do that calculation, I am not Einstein" too?
The world needs some cleansing.
Today I was talking to June about smart genes.
Taken that smart parents=smart children and dumb parents=dumb children and smart + dumb= average children, I told her that the smart should always marry the smart so that smart people will not die out.
June said she perferred a whole lot of average people, at least there wun be any stupid people around.
Lets see, if the world is full of average people, we still wun have our TVs invented till today. No computers. No ovens even. Actually, despite learning it in physics, I still have no idea how a TV works. It takes a very very smart person to invent such amazing stuff, no?
Can the most intelligent of us even build a normal optical camera without any instructions? I think not. The most we can do, is to follow instructions. Yes, some of us can take out every part of a CPU and put it back, but can any of us (rather normal people) invent a computer from scratch? Up till today, I still dunno how email works.
We cannot do without the dumb people either. The dumb people are the ones letting the smart earn money. If everyone was so smart, everyone would fix up their own tellys and not buy tellys. Nobody will want to do manual jobs because they want to do brainy jobs. Everyone wants to be a CEO and no one wants to be the photostating guy.
But then again we can always make old people or pimply teenagers do the dumb people's jobs, so dumb people are really quite obselete.
How about average people?
The average people is the largest group of people. The average person is generally a supervisor of some sort. They are capable of using non-Nokia phones without almost dying, and can generally operate a fax machine. They also will happen to be not as lazy as intelligent people.
EG:
Average person: Ah, theres a long road to walk. I am almost late! I think I shall hurry up and walk faster.
Intelligent person: Ah, theres a long road to walk. I am almost late! I think I shall invent a machine which can bring me around. I think I shall call it a car if I succeed. Or should I invent a time machine so that I will not be late?
Dumb person: Ah, theres a long road to walk. I am almost late! Hey wait a minute, I forgot how to run!
So. Average people must be there to not only boost the economy, they must be there so that the intelligent will still seem intelligent. Besides, average people don't irritate much by being stupid, but just quietly do their work to earn to look after their average babies.
I suggest, of course, that we kick all the stupid people out of our beautiful planet.
Without stupid people, there would be less accidents.
Nokia would not be able to smugly monopolise the phone market.
No more ah bengs and lians.
No more stupid delifrance sales people (read archives to understand).
No more spammers in my blog.
It is silly, however, to dispose of certain types of dumb people. For example, a person may be very dumb but he may be able to cook the best chicken rice in the world. These people can stay of course.
For the rest of the dumb people, I have a plan. It is copied from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. We ask for the irritating and useless dumb people to gather, and fake them that Earth is gonna explode in 2 days and all of us are supposed to be exported to another planet called the Alfafa Sproutland.
They will go berserk.
In the meanwhile, we choose a country which has the most dumb population and have alot of land. I would say that Pakistan would be a suitable country, or Greenland could be another choice (If Eskimos are smart they would have gotten outta their fucking cold country long ago instead of worrying about catching frozen fish everyday). Using the same method, we get all the country's smart people out, which are few and far between.
We put the dumb people all in a huge airplane which we will convince them it is a spaceship, and dump them in Pakistan. They will notice some natives complaining about how intruders all arrived, but they would be so glad that Alfafa Sproutland has oxygen that they would be too busy rejoicing to notice.
Meanwhile, the dumb people would be very happy among themselves ("Wah lan eh very happy sia, no more uni one ah here! Their england like so powder, I cannot understood ah!"), and the smart happy among the smart ("Now we dun need to make our machines idiot-proof!"), and the average being neutral as usual ("Huh got difference meh? Hiyah, never mind la").
As I mentioned before, the world would be a much better place if I control it.
And in case you are wondering, yes, I go to the smart category, thank you.
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