Hello from California!

Sorry for the lag in blogging!

I'm now in sunny LA, where the weather is perfect. :D

The last few days have been very fun... I've gone to Hollywood, Disneyland, Rodeo Drive etc etc and I took a shitload of pictures!

However, erm, the photoshop disc doesn't seem to want to install on Mike's laptop so until I find another way to make all my nose smaller you won't see any pictures... Alternatively some nice reader could upload the program into their website's space and send me an email with the link.... :D Even the demo one would do fine.

Mike's now scurrying behind me packing stuff and I forbade him to look at me blog. NO ONE CAN DO THAT!

We are gonna be driving to Vegas in a while. I think we will meet inbreed deformed monsters on the lonely desert road, where we will be stranded and the people will eat Mike's intestines and make me watch, then proceed to rape me and then eat me too.

Fucking Hollywood movies... You know those shows where people get stranded in long roads with no way of getting out? GRRRR

Mike said there are no such inbreed people. I'm sure there are - it's just that they don't wanna eat him coz he is not delicious enough.

But a rare Asian cuisine! Ah, that's irresistable!

In the case where I don't get eaten up, I'll be in Vegas soon! Strip clubs! Buffets! Big money!!!

So excited :D

I've had my first Twinkie, had my virgin step into a Victoria's Secrets store, and I am on my way to eat mt first Krispie Kreme! :D Speaking of typical American stuff, I did see lots of extremely fat people, but I didn't get like racist treatment, or get robbed by hobos. hmmm. Good, I guess.

I had Yoshinoya yesterday and it really sucks. I mean, the beef and chicken we had was ok, but the sauce was thick and SWEET! What the fuck, sweet??? I'll be damned.

I already miss Singapore's food so much - god, I'll give so much for a plate of chay kuay teow... =(

Funnily enough, I miss Pokka green tea the most of all local things. I'm sick sick sick of American beverages! Every meal I have a choice of extremely sweet fizzy drink, or another extremely sweet fizzy drink.

No taste here is subtle! Everything is an explosion on the tongue, and savoury food may all taste great (and makes you damn fat), but I want something light sometimes... :(

Otherwise I love America! This place is SO great.

I'll blog again soon, don't go fall in love with another blog ok?

Tata,
Wendy

Suay

I'm gonna fly off in around 8 hours!

Of all things to happen, yesterday I started sniffing a bit and today it has turned into full-blown fever+flu.

CCB!

Why today of all days??

As I pack I feel like being ugly but comfortable for the rest of the trip, coz that's how I feel now. BAH! Throwing in ugly clothes.

I hope I get better before I meet Mike! :(

Well anyway, he's bringing his laptop, so I think I might write in again, real soon... Thanks and a big kiss to everyone who gave me advice on where to go!

Love you all blogders!

Wendy

+++++++++++++++++++++

Things I will miss:

Mahjong
Momo and her cooking
All my friends

Things I will not miss:

Cleaning Cloudy's pee and shit
Having no aircon in room
That (*&*%# insect that flies in EVERY morning to try to find a hole in my furniture to lay her eggs.

How can so many levels of people

Approve this?

I was waiting for the Mrt at City Hall when I saw this ad...

At first, you know, normal and all, glazing over, but after a while I read...

"Plain-flavoured milk"

Excuse me but wtf is plain flavoured milk? Plain is plain, flavoured is flavoured, the two are fucking mutually exclusive.

I can imagine some dumbass executives at some marketing meeting say, "OH, how shall we better market this new product?"

And some other person looks at the design and sighs, saying, "Why is the box so pink? People might mistaken this for strawberry milk."

A logical young man then quips, "But there is no picture of a strawberry, and you all know people only assume such things when they see a strawberry!"

Alas, his voice drowns in the shouts of agreement of what the previous young man said. Some of the executives take up protest boards and nominate loudly for him to be marketing president.

"We must differentiate our product from other strawberry milks!" they shout in unison, the spirit of marketing hitting everyone like an enthusiastic carton of milk.

"Silence!" says a wiser, older marketing personnel at the back, stroking his beard. "We shall hence say on the packet it is plain milk."

He gets promptly beaten up to death (protest boards helped), because it is stated in the Marketing Strategy Book 101 that no product package can ever hint that the product is inferior, and calling your product "plain"... Let's just say that old man deserved it.

Furthermore, the market has show only attention for flavoured products.

Who uses plain stuff anymore? NO ONE! Even toothpaste is flavoured nowadays, have you tried the green tea one? To further prove this point, even green tea, which is a favour by itself, has other flavours in it!

An employee at the back is silently brainstorming. He works silently, and by himself - some say he is a genius, and some say he is just trying to act like a genius by being quiet.

In any case he draws himself to his full height (1.75m) and slowly walks towards the whiteboard, writing the following:

"Plain flavoured milk"

It took 5 seconds for everyone to nudge each other, and fall into a complete stunned silence.

"Yes!" someone breaks the taut ambience. The room erupts with roars of approval once again.

Together the marketing team proposed the idea to their superiors, who proposed it to their superiors, who proposed it to more superiors, who approved the idea and had "Plain flavoured milk" printed in prominent areas.

2 days pass.

A memo was passed down from the superior superiors, who said that just "Milk" as the product's logo is not sufficient.

The team is to brainstorm and come up with a suitable adjective as a prefix to Milk, so that the product stands out.

The marketing team thought about this for a long time, coming up with ideas like "sweet", "delicious", "cow's", "yummy", "yellow-white", and none were suitable.

The logical young man was scrutinizing the product sample on the table. "Alas, this milk tastes awful at room temperature!" he says. "If only it is chilled!"

Someone shouted, "That's it! CHILLED! CHILLED MILK!"

"But, but..." the logical young man stammered. "It is not chilled..." but nobody listens.

"When we take a product photo, we will have little droplets of water on it to show it is chilled," said the marketing leader with a resolute voice, basking in his own brilliance.

**************

Maybe the packet will self destruct when it is no longer chilly, rendering it's description true all the time.

(Some of you may argue "chilled" may just mean 'chilled once upon a time' and not a 'cold beverage' per se. This would then make the description of "chilled milk" even more stupid than to assume this packet of milk is actually cold, because customers do not give a shit about whether the milk has once been chilled before.)

***************

Have you seen Macdonald's mayonnaise? On it proudly writes, "Real mayonnaise".

Has anyone tried eating fake mayonnaise before?