Mike, me and two babies

Short post today... Momo just sold our Teban flat (for a vast price advantage since the market is SO crazy now for property) so Momo and Didi are moving out too in a few months!!

I am a bit horrified because this means that if Mike dumps me I'd have like, nowhere to go to for a few months till Momo gets a new place!

So anyway, the point is that I have to go back to Teban to get the remainder of my stuff (which is really so much, I'm dreading it), and find places for it in the princess room!

Remember the Ikea guys who came to my place and found it unoccupied, so I had to pay $30 extra as a penalty?

Well, THEY forgot to come the next day themselves, so I called them and was like, "Where is my furniture? I don't see why I have to pay $30 if you guys make mistakes..." and the phone guy cut in and told me not to worry, I don't have to pay anything extra.

Sweet!! I haven't even used the "I took one day off work you know, who is going to pay for my losses?! HUH?!" tactic. I know I don't work la, but it's a perfect excuse man!

Right. I need to stop being such an auntie. I AM A TRENDY 23 YEAR OLD!

Yesterday, I was looking at a broom outside NTUC. (Don't judge me, everyone needs brooms!)

I've procrastinated buying a broom/mop because all of them are sooooooooo fugly, and I JUST REFUSE to spend money on ugly things! Florescent yellow, green and red bristles on a red handle?! Gross! (Mike: "FOR GOODNESS SAKE IT'S JUST A BROOM WHY DO YOU CARE IF IT'S UGLY?!")

So I was looking at the NTUC broom, blue and grey (quite decent looking), selling for $4.20, when a true blue auntie came to me.

She said, "WAH, you want to buy broom hor, buy from Sheng Siong leh... Cheap there..." and she looks really quite mad, like she haven't spoken to a human for months.

"I bought this handle there," - she holds up the fugly red wooden excuse of a broom handle.

"only $1. And then I go to Shop n' save buy this broom head, also $1... This NTUC hor... " - she looks at NTUC with a wrinkled nose, apparently disgusted by the price disparity, "VERI EXPENSIVE!! Don't buy don't buy."

I stared at her speechless for 2 seconds before replying, "OK", and she walked off.

Completely bonkers. Who the fuck would go to so many supermarkets to save $2.20? Walking there can buy me the time to write 2 advertorials to earn me more than 1,000 times of the saved amount. (Not that I got so many advertorials to write la, but still)

And saving $2.20 to get a ugly broom that everyone will look at and judge you by? (Don't say nobody looks at it hor, what if a guest spills something?!) No thank you!

Anyway, my point about this whole chunk is that an auntie takes me for a fellow penny-wise-dollar-foolish auntie too!

How... how could she? I... I... I have tattoos! I... I'm wearing Havaianas! I'm young and young people don't care about saving two pennies!

HMPF! Very angry. From now on I shall shop for groceries only at Jason's. Or Cold storage Jelita. Ok I need to stop listing supermarkets.

Shuyin came over and bought me a hot pink saucepan! Love!

And as promised, the pictures of our two lovely "pets":

Click to enlarge, but softly, they are sleeping

They are bloody cute. Soon they'd grow up to be fat, stupid and annoying pigeons though.

More photos soon.

Road Trip: Episode 8 - The Ride Home

Road Trip: Episode 8 - The Ride Home

Stay tuned for more exciting shows coming to you soon on clicknetwork.tv and look out for my brand new show coming to you very soon!

Super Unlucky!

Today is officially the most unlucky day of my life!! It's only 3pm as
I am writing this, but it's already a clear champion.

OK, I woke up at 1130am when I am supposed to reach munkysuperstar by
12pm. The giant zit on my face has blossomed to it's maximum size (I
swear, 1 cm across) BUT CANNOT BE SQUEEZED.

I tried to squeeze it, so it burst and only some pus-like liquid came
out (I know, I have no sex appeal whatsoever), and the whitehead or
whatever solid thing pimples have when they want to be spiteful just
refused to show, so the zit is still going strong - and plus now its
even more swollen.

It's on the side of my nose, so I wore sunglasses to cover it, and I
swear it even made my sunglasses lop-sided. -_-

Mike and I just moved into the new condo yesterday night, so I had to
spend some time to find my concealer among the mess. (pictures to come
soon)

By 1140am, I was about to step into the shower when I realised that
only Mike has the keys, so it's very likely he locked me in when he
went off to work, and so I went out to check!

VOILA! LOCKED IN.

So I called Mike, who agreed to come home to unlock me from work
(lucky it was lunch hour), but also kindly reminded me that the Ikea
movers were coming at 1pm to send me my pink furniture.

I panicked, because nobody would be home. I completely forgot.

Called 100 and then called Ikea Tampines.

While I undressed to hop into the shower and talk to whoever at the
same time, Ikea's answering machine happily told me that Ikea has
extended shopping hours to 11pm on the following dates: BLAH BLAH BLAH
BLAH --- TOOK THE LONGEST TIME TO TELL ME THE MULTIPLE DATES THEY HAVE
EXTENDED HOURS CAN?!

Finally I got a human, and she told me the truck already dispatched
and that I can't push the time later! She said she'd call me back.

1 min later, the dispatch guy called me (but not on the woman's
instructions, just so happens), and told me they are on their way and
would arrive soon - to a house that has nobody inside!

So I told the guy that I won't be home, and I asked how much I have to
pay as a penalty.

He replied that I have already paid in full.

I rolled my eyes and told him that I won't be home, so how much it is
to deliver it again lah?

HE SHOUTED AT ME LEH!

He was like, "WHAT TALKING YOU YOU OLREADI PAID WHAT!"

As it turns out I have to pay an additional $30 on top of the $40
delivery + $15 fixing charge. $85 - that's even more expensive than my
computer table or chair. CHAO CHEEBYE.

So I rushed to munkysuperstar after this, and the most cliche of all
mishaps - I KENA MY DA YI MA! (I'm not going to explain what that is
if you don't already know).

I had to walk to 7/11 to buy the necessary and then go to This Fashion
for a new pair of shorts. Tried on 4 pairs before 1 fitted, which is
just awesome.

My life is perfect.

On a better note, our condo's windows has a sort of deep trench
outside each window for putting flower pots (cute huh?) and there is a
pigeon that built a nest there!!

AND THERE ARE EGGS INSIDE!

It's fucking cute, yesterday night the pigeon was sitting on the ledge
looking at her eggs, and Mike lit up a tealight and put it a little
way beside the bird to light up the scene (the pigeon did not fly
away) and we just watched her for a long time, and we even had a clear
view of the eggs, which were white and the size of quail eggs.

And this morning, the eggs hatched and little ugly pink pigeonlings
were all struggling for attention and the mama was feeding them!

I'd go take a photo once I can. =) Don't know when I can get internet
connection to post it up though.



Advertorial

Ok, are you between 17-25 and want to win $1,500? Yeah? Awesome.
(Speaking of 17 - 25, I'm going to be out of that age range in 2 years
and I'd be so upset...)

I was informed of a new competition all you bored people at home can join!

It's called... *drumroll*


THE ULTIMATE AIR BAND
CHALLENGE

Where musical knowledge is secondary!!!



The name sounds very funny right?

Air band literally means that you can be a band performing - with air
for instruments!

There is no need for any singing or musical talent, all you need is
some showmanship and maybe a sense of humour! :D

Get a band of 3 or more people and dress up while playing your
favourite song in the background lip-sync to your heart's content
while performing!

(On the site is a demo video clip, you can go and look)

The video has to be 90 secs long and recorded on a Memorex CD.

Besides winning the grand prize of $1,500, the winner also gets to
perform in Cathay Cineleisure. If you have no singing or musical
talent yet you want to be a rock star, here's your chance man!

Hehe... If I join I'd be singing (by singing I mean lip-syncing) Avril
Lavinge's "Girlfriend", for no other reason other than it annoys the
hell out of Mike.

Which is stupid because when I am telling him I don't like his
girlfriend it means I don't like myself. Oh well.

Then I'd walk around punching random people's girlfriends just because
they "should get a new one".


You know what other song is annoying? That Beyonce to the left to the
left song. NOW IT'S STUCK IN YOUR HEAD ALSO RIGHT?!

Someone (was it Weili?) said that Beyonce will fall down if she really
keep going to the left because it is going in very tight circles.
Hehehe... That's a brilliant idea right there! You keep going to your
left in the video then at the end of it you faint and fall!

Or or... You can act like Mr Bean in his movie where he lip-syncs to
the opera tune in a woeful way!!

Or or or... Imitate a heavy metal band by playing the National Anthem!
National Day coming mah!

Man, I am so full of refreshing ideas.

The judging criteria for the top 10 teams are as such:


- 60% based on public voting via the website (the faster you film the
better for votes lar!)
- 10% based on the number of views to the team's video, and
- 30% decision by organisers

There are 10 prizes to be won:


1st prize: $1,500 cash + $500 worth of Memorex products
2nd prize: $200 cash + $100 worth of Memorex products
3rd prize: $100 + $100 Memorex products

7 consolution prizes: $100 for each team

Easy to win lah! Quickly go and ask your friends to come over and
record now! Use handphone or digicam or webcam, any format also can!

Send you entry CD/DVD to:

Attention
Ultimate Air Band
59 Oxley Road
S(238644)